The Discovery Channel had some dicey programming last year during shark week. Some things were presented as fact when they were actually more sensational theories or maybe even guesses… or Sharknado. No, actually it was Megalodon. And no matter what Discovery tries to imply, they are extinct and have been for millions of years.

I was disheartened when it was exposed that so many of Discovery’s discoveries were sensationalized junk. So this year, when I heard it was Shark Week, I told my son and he said, “After last year? Who cares?” Yes, the Megalodon did us in. By hinting and “reporting” about this “monster shark” that was actually only as real as Sharknado, we lost our taste for a good bite of shark facts… because they might end up being fictional.

Discovery actually used actors instead of scientists. It used Photoshop. It used fake video. It even called the piece a documentary. This was intentional misinformation on a Mega-shark scale. Can we forgive them? Not at my house.

If we want shark fiction, we’ll watch JAWS. They did swear that they’d stop with the “mockumentaries” this year. But after two years of the Megalodon… Well, you know where we stand.

I can’t directly comment on Shark Week since I didn’t watch it. I can tell you that on the Discovery website they are featuring pictures of cute babies in shark jammies. Scary. They look dangerous. There’s an article about their feature, “Alien Sharks: Close Encounters” which is probably about sharks time traveling from the future to attack humans that are wearing gear that is made of a material from the future that they time traveled to get because they knew this was going to happen and Discovery paid for the time travel mileage. Alien Sharks? Really?

Hm. There’s a lovely link to something they aired called, “Island of the Mega Shark” which of course smacks of a Land Shark living on an island just waiting to eat shipwrecked people. And in the video a great white is attacking a “ghost cage” which is a really clear Rubbermaid container, I think. Did I mention that I turned off the sound? I don’t want to misinterpret anything they say.

I just had to scroll down, didn’t I? There it is. Megalodon. *sigh* They will NEVER learn. The Hammerhead cam appears to be the nose of the hammerhead shark going back and forth over the bottom of the ocean. Endlessly. I wonder if this was on the show. If so, it must have been quite boring. There aren’t even any other fish. Or rocks. Just sand and this shark’s nose. Now he has a tiny sea creature hitchhiking on his nose. Wow.

So, there you go. These are my personal notes about not watching Shark Week. It was much more fun describing it to you this way than sitting through misinformation and sharkcams in deserted waters. Thank you for indulging me. Next time, I’ll leave Shark Week behind like a Megalodon and talk about what’s new in the ocean.